The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for my blog. And since I’m all about stats, I just want to reach out and tickle those cute little monkeys on their furry bellies.
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 45,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 17 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
Click here to see the complete report.
Mercifully, the report does not contain any of the creepy search terms some weirdos (not YOU, of course) used to find my site. Oh, what the heck, sharing is caring, so…
1. snow traffic pee. Okay, so I did write about a bathroom emergency here. Honorable mention goes to this search term: desperate to pee had to squat. No shame in squatting, honey. I nature squat all the time during hikes.
2. real fart. Guilty. I did talk about real yogis NOT farting here.
3. bitchy resting face. Yep, guilty.
4. wine bottle in a$$. Note, the last word was actually spelled out. I substituted dollar signs because I refuse to add to the problem by recreating that string of words in this blog post. And, NO, I never posted anything about ANYTHING in anyone’s a$$.
5. true life i went to pure barre and it was fucking miserable. AMEN! Finally someone gets it. Note, this remains my most popular post of all time. Honorable mention goes to: i took a pure barre class and it was awful, dude. The other one won out just because of the poetic use of the f-bomb.
6. i’ve broken my ass, So, yeah, one time I wrote about breaking my ass.
7. is it bad to run 5 miles after a night of drinking. Dude, it’s bad to run 5 miles period.
8. pics of cock soup. Okay, okay. So I did here and here.
9. what i hate about whole foods namaste. I get it. Here’s what I hate about them too.
10. boil the ocean eat an elephant. This one scared me a bit. But then I remembered this post.
I am intentionally omitting the truly vile and disturbing ones. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Thank you, all you beautiful (and somewhat disturbed) people for your amazing support in 2014.
The best is yet to come.
Keep moving,
xoxo nancy
my year of sweat 
Great sum up, NT! It’s . . . Game Time!
We shall see, NH. I’ve been quite the loafer these past months. Jan 1 will be the test. 🙂
Sidney Opera House! I was only compared to a New York Subway Car. You rock Nancy…I mean “Until the fat lady sings”…no wait…this is a weight loss blog. I give up. Dead rats and bling shit are my top posts. Go figure. Patrick.
The numbers are truly astounding, Pat. Hard to believe so many people find there way to my silly musings. Crazy.
Glitter poo just made my life. 🙂
Glad you enjoyed Glitter Poo. 🙂 Who would have known Maggie could “produce” a blog post that would have such staying power.
There’s magic in them thar glitter poos, Patrick.
Nice end of year wrap! I am envious of your stats…I guess to get more hits I would have to post more, have more followers, write more interesting stuff, etc. Teehee!
Happy New Year, Nancy! And BTW, you were my highest count commenter. THANK YOU! ❤
I’m completely humbled by the stats, Lynne. (But know that they are trending WAY DOWN since I started this new job and am posting so much less.) I think it’s a combination of both writing more and reading/commenting more on others’ blogs. I think it’s just a very select few who get to just publish and never really participate in the community. I know that as I’ve slowed my writing, I’ve had to cut back on some reading – so I’m ruthlessly prioritizing on hitting those blogs that I truly love, written by people I’ve made a real connection with. Time… I wish there was more of it.
Amen to everything you said Nancy! I am humbled that I am one of those you did connect with!
Likewise! So glad we got to meet in blog land AND in real life, Lynne!
You get the best search queries – EVER. Congratulations on a stellar year, Nancy! Happy New Year!!!
That was the cleanest list I could find, Rob. I get some truly disturbing ones, but let’s not talk about those. 😛
Thank YOU for being one of my top commenters in 2014! You rock! xoxo
Do I get something like frequent poster miles? 😀 It was a pleasure to have met you, Nancy! I’m looking forward to being friends in 2015 and beyond. 💗💗💗
Hmm.. not sure I’m organized enough to track frequent commenter miles, but I may uncover more cock soup when I pack up the house for the move in March…
That was an AMAZING find. *hint, hint*
I’ll do my best. (Heck, based on cock soup’s popularity, I may just go buy more.)
Hi Nancy! Congratulations on another great year of blogging. I’m not a wordpress.com blogger so I don’t get any furry monkeys 😦 oh well, stats just make me a bit manic anyway….but fun to see what you most common search terms are for….it’s got to be for your “interesting” post titles I’m sure. Mine are very pedestrian in comparison…anyway, I’ve enjoy following your path and LOVE your motto for 2015!!! Game on!! Happy Feliz Ano Nuevo from baja mexico! ~Kathy
Have a wonderful, warm and sunny, New Year, Kathy (and Thom)! Enjoy the beach and have a margarita for me!
Have a great new year, you and all your family, Nancy!
Thanks Guap! Same to you and TMWGITU!
Strangely, a friend of mine got cock soup as a secret santa present yhis year, i didn’t know it existed outside if Nancy world!!
Also, that is a phenomenal amount if people reading your blog!! 😀
Cock soup found its way to the UK, Sam?? That warms my heart in ways that it shouldn’t. 🙂
Ha! I pictured all those readers, filling the Sydney Opera House, listening to me reading my blog posts out loud, and watching them cringe as I delivered each “FUCK” and “SHIT” with theatric aplomb! 🙂
It certainly has 😀
Haha! Like a dramatic poetry reading but with affronted opera goers as the audience 😉
Totally!! I would try to implement my best Gwyneth Paltrow fake British accent voice to add more gravitas to my readings. 🙂
You should!!
In fact you should do a you tube video of it!!
Oh I am SO tempted!! 🙂
Do it!!
“Ain’t nobody got time for that” ??? Have your recent travels taken you to one of the U.S.’ southern states? Y’all sound like ya just returned from L.A. (lower Alabama) 😆 You gotta wonder about some of those searches. Wishing you a great New Year filled with many more adventures 🙂
Bahahaha…Oh Ingrid, you crack me up! The ‘ain’t nobody got time for that’ is actually a meme that soared in popularity about 2 years ago, following a news clip of Sweet Brown. Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGxwbhkDjZM
You’re welcome! 🙂
LMFAO……. 😆
holy smokes! you get lots of traffic on your site! Amazing stuff.
That’s exactly what I say when I look at my stats:: Holy smokes! What on earth are all those people doing here? 🙂
Interesting look at the numbers. I haven’t looked at mine yet but I will over the weekend. Have a very Happy New Year Nancy. It has been great connecting and getting to know you on here. All the best for 2015 🙂
I think if your blog is over one year old, WP sends you the report. Check your inbox. Mine arrived late last night. Fun to see the stats described in this way. 🙂
Happy New Year to you, Norm. I’m back to Montreal Monday night for a full day of meetings Tuesday. Please make sure to order up some nice weather for my arrival. 🙂
You better bring your long-johns Nancy, the forecast says around minus 18
Jesus.
Ha, yes, #4 is NOT the one you want your blog associated with. Unless you’re a surgeon or a radiologist and it’s medically related (because believe me, that ‘mishap’ happens more than you’d like to believe…)
Happy New Year’s, Nancy!
oh to work in that ER, Carrie! That is my dream!
But you can’t blog about it, because that would be unprofessional. Such a conundrum, isn’t it? 😉
That is so unfair.
Your stats rock!! Your ‘guilty’ response to the search engine terms made me laugh out loud … as well as your comment about reading your blog to a packed audience at the Sydney Opera House!! 😀
Happy New Year Nancy and thanks for being on my list of top commenters. I’m grateful to have met you in the blogging world and “real life”. Maybe we can share some adventures together in 2015!!
Bahahaha! I’m still giggling at the mental image of me channeling my inner stuck-up Gwyneth and her fake British accent as I read about breaking my ass in Body Pump. 🙂
So glad we met in both blog-land and real life in 2014, Joanne! Thought of you yesterday as I hiked the Mast trail at lunch (Brrr…it was a cold one!). Must do that together again!
Yesterday was supposed to be a hiking day for me, but Helen cancelled. Instead I went to a Body Sculpting class at my new gym.
I was humbled.
Today I can barely move … and my butt hurts … a lot.
… and I’m giggling at the mental image of your inner stuck-up Gwyneth 😀
Oh yes!! I’ve done a body sculpt at Good Life. I may have cried like a baby during. And after. 🙂
Hey!!! You’re amazing and your blog is amaaazing, too!!! Can’t wait to read more and more!! Have a fabulous week!! Thanks for sharing all of your fabulous posts!! XOXO
Right back atcha, Kristin! Keep rockin’ it!
A special congrats on those search terms! Oh my, what do people think of…?!
I just decided that I may be guilty of poor imagination since my search terms are typically something like “open hours of xxx” but I can live with that.
Happy new years! Looking forward to more interesting reading!
I try to banish the really nasty ones from memory after I’ve read them. 🙂
Happy New Year, Vilma!
Congrats Nancy! And here’s to game time!
I thought I’d give myself a sneak preview of game time today by completing the Tank Top Arms and Kareen’s Core Workout programs on my Strength and Toning page. Now I’m crying from the pain in my arms. Tomorrow won’t be pretty.
Tomorrow is still this year…next year will be prettier 😀
Or…I’ll be in traction by then. 🙂
Thanks for sharing, Nancy, it is caring! Here’s to game time. 🙂
Ha! Not sure everyone is as appreciative of my shares, Eric. 😉
Happy New Year!
Nancy, why would anyone do that to a wine bottle? What a waste of grapes. I feel a bit scandalized by your search terms, actually, but now I’m going to go check mine out.
You were only exposed to the PG-13 ones. 🙂
Oh yikes…
Can we get some x-rated ones in 2015???? We got to up the ante this coming year! I’ll share if you share! LOL. Thanks for your honesty and humor and for being a great friend, Nancy!! Love ya!!! 🙂
Mine are too nasty, Maria. And coming from ME, that’s saying a LOT! 🙂
So glad I met you through Andra (I think that’s how we met, right??). You make me smile! xoxo
Your search terms always blow my mind. I’m secretly jealous. Although you totally set yourself up for the cock soup 🙂 Happy New Year Nancy!!!
I completely set myself up for cock soup. 🙂
I take no blame for the hundreds of searches on Pendulum Tits (one of my top search terms). Shudder.
Your WordPress monkies are a lot funnier than mine, Nancy. It must be all the sweat and swearing around here. 🙂 I hope your New Year’s Eve was fantastic and your’re off to a wonderful start in 2015. Cheers and many thanks to you in your top spot as my #1 commentator in 2014!
I really do feel somewhat stalker ish when I hear that I’m your #1 commenter. 🙂
I’m flattered. 🙂
Happy New Year Nancy to you and all your weird followers!
I don’t think they actually stay, Carol. I’m pretty sure that someone looking for wine bottle in a$$ would shake his/her fist in the air and declare false advertising, leaving in a huff, when they realized that content was absent from this blog.
NancyTex, you’re literally killing me right now. Why? I am having chest pains. Panic inducing. Just what I needed. x
Wine bottle in ass. Yep. Welcome to my world.
That’s the one … (OMG) Thanks for the invitation. x