I know, I know… but how can you get smacked in the face with so much booty-liciousness and NOT compare it to your woefully inadequate butt???
JLo tweeted this photo out last week
and I’ve been crying ever since, promoting her upcoming album release, Booty.
But she did more than just share a picture of her perfect, luscious booty. She taunted us.
Read the all-hashtag tweet accompanying the photo.
Go ahead, move your eyes AWAY from the booty and look at the list of hashtags to the side. You can do it.
Uh…okay Ms. #BootyFromTheBlock, let’s go with that.
Look, I’m not disputing that her booty is the one she was born with, making it, by definition, natural. But, please don’t tell me that the perfection depicted in this shot wasn’t helped along the way by some very good lighting and a lot of editing and touch-ups.
Still, all the good lighting and touch-ups in the world wouldn’t make my ass look like this, so she wins regardless. Bitch.
I wonder how many lunges JLo does every day?
Here is the sneak preview for the video for Booty. Watch it and weep.
Even if I was able to make my booty look like hers, through implants, eleventy billion squats, black magic or a deal with the devil, there is no way I could make it shake like hers. She wins again. Bitch.
Keep moving (because maybe one day the bubble butt will finally make an appearance!)