comparison is the thief of joy

I know, I know… but how can you get smacked in the face with so much booty-liciousness and NOT compare it to your woefully inadequate butt???

source: JLo's twitter feed

source: JLo’s twitter feed

JLo tweeted this photo out last week and I’ve been crying ever since, promoting her upcoming album release, Booty.

But she did more than just share a picture of her perfect, luscious booty. She taunted us.

Read the all-hashtag tweet accompanying the photo.

Go ahead, move your eyes AWAY from the booty and look at the list of hashtags to the side. You can do it.



Uh…okay Ms. #BootyFromTheBlock, let’s go with that.

Look, I’m not disputing that her booty is the one she was born with, making it, by definition, natural. But, please don’t tell me that the perfection depicted in this shot wasn’t helped along the way by some very good lighting and a lot of editing and touch-ups.

Still, all the good lighting and touch-ups in the world wouldn’t make my ass look like this, so she wins regardless. Bitch.

I wonder how many lunges JLo does every day?

Here is the sneak preview for the video for Booty. Watch it and weep.

Even if I was able to make my booty look like hers, through implants, eleventy billion squats, black magic or a deal with the devil, there is no way I could make it shake like hers. She wins again. Bitch.

Keep moving (because maybe one day the bubble butt will finally make an appearance!)

xoxo nancy

93 thoughts on “comparison is the thief of joy

  1. Maybe if Jenny from the block didn’t have countless dollars and hours to appropriate to her derrière, she’d look like everyone else.

    • Or maybe it’s just crazy good genetics. I’m just amazed that some woman can have such a fleshy backside and be so tiny everywhere else. Look at that horrid Kardashian chick, for instance. Her ass is 3X as big as mine, but she has a 25 inch waist. How is that even possible??

      • Photoshop. 🙂 They both have too much back. I like proportion. More so, I like eyes and wit over glutes any day of the week.

      • Photoshop or not, JLo and KK have completely disproportionate booty/waist – and it’s mind boggling.

        The bubble butt is becoming the new beauty standard. Women are actually getting butt implants. It’s a thing. I kid you not. Or the less invasive option is buying undergarments with padding in them. (Think of the inserts in a padded bra, but on your ass…)

        So much insanity.

      • Yeah, but when gravity takes its toll years later, that ginormous caboose won’t be so sexy. What a change from the heroin chic of Kate Moss!

      • Totally. Although I think there’ll always (for the foreseeable future, anyway) be a place for the waif/flat-chested/boy figure look in high fashion, the curvy/juicy bottom is what’s in outside of the world of super models.

        And I just got a giggle out of visualizing a 70 year old KK, dragging her ass behind her because it’s hanging so low. 🙂

  2. Haha! Comparison is the thief of joy! We don’t have to have “the best” booty on the block to be good enough, and smart enough, and have some of the people like us . . . some of the time. 😛

    Now . . . shake that booty!

  3. Sorry I don’t get it either. Those pants made me want to take a Dramamine and I’m not even prone to motion sickness. I asked Thom his opinion (he’s sort of a connoisseur of such things) and his first comment was, “did you notice all the backup dancers had a bigger butt than JLo? I’m sure she did that on purpose?” Of course I DIDN”T notice that but if she’s paying the bill she can pick the dancers she wants. Bottom line…comparison IS the thief of joy AND maybe the solution is to pay women with bigger butts to hang around you and then you’ll feel great about your own!

    • OMG, you nailed it Lisa! What I want is the booty jiggle WITHOUT the belly jiggle!

      And, I hear ya on lipo… Just peruse the news for reports of women that went in for a simple fat-sucking procedure and wound up dead. (Kanye’s mother, if memory serves.) Scary stuff.

      • Yep, even the laser/sono places are super dangerous. Stay away! If I had $1 for each time I’ve had to explain to someone why their great idea for a control panty that sucks in the tummy but has a thong back is bad news. Companies still try to produce them because of demand but hey the control has to have an anchor somewhere in order to work and the pressure on that little thong is pretty “creepy”. These media visuals are all smoke and mirrors leading normal women to some very unnecessary suffering. 😦

      • Oh dear…I’m visualizing all that excess from the tummy being controlled by a thong back. 🙂

        p.s. I just found myself with a 30 min break between meetings and decided to see if there were any short hits on Fitness Blender. I found a 100-rep lunge workout (8 minutes) and then a 100-rep squat workout (10 mins) that I just finished back to back. I’m drenched in sweat and feeling like I did a little something towards a bubble butt. 🙂
        Love that site! So many great workouts!

      • My pleasure! I especially like that you can select what equipment you have/want to use (or not) – and the level of difficulty. Lots of ways to sort the workouts!

  4. Remove the self-tanner, the lighting, and the special camera shots; put her in natural sunlight on the beach, water up to her knees; and I guarantee you her booty won’t look like that.

    I wonder what an alien would think if they watched that video clip. And, if you’ll allow me a moment of seriousness, how lovely that this is what she chooses to put out there for our young daughters to emulate. Nothing like getting young girls to worry about having the perfect butt to keep them from pursuing the paths that might make them president one day. I preach to my boys that women should be respected and not be seen as merely a sum of their body parts. Videos like this make that message difficult. I don’t know about you, but if I went into the office in tight pants and kept shaking my butt, I might not be too respected professionally. Then again, if I did, I’d probably end up on You Tube! (Pediatrician gone wild…)

  5. No matter how hard I work on my booty it still looks like natural cottage cheese. 🙂
    I have never heard any complains from Big A however. I guess you can taunt & brag all you want, but what it really comes down to is are you happy and healthy? J-Lo can’t have my joy, but if I ever want to pose in an outfit like that, I will gladly take her photographer and make up artist!

  6. Oh, I’ve learned how to enhance the body image in photos…bigger, smaller, fuller, thinner – and I’m a complete amateur. Photoshop. Easy. Not saying that she’s not beautiful.., but agree with Carrie. Why does she have to do these “exhibitions”…Whatever she shows it nothing to weep over 😉

    • That’s the only thing you’re skeptical about with JLo? How about marrying Skeletor? How about her last song. I Luh You Papi.
      Not love. Luh.
      I could go on. 🙂

      ps Happy Birthday lovely!

  7. Don’t forget, Princess Kate’s sister Pippa inspired a rage of padded undies that will make your rump look like JLo’s, Beyonce’s, Pippa’s, and probably even Phyllis Diller’s. Get online, sister, and leave your ass comparisons behind you!

  8. Why, thank you amiga for depressing me as well! Jeeeez! This is 10 times better than Miley twerking! JLo can do no wrong that bitch! And did you happen to see her on the Music Video Awards??? Ridiculously hot! Grrrrrrrrr. The only thing I have in common with her is that I am Puerto Rican. That is it. Damn. Does Brick from the block sound good? How about BrickHo instead of JLo? Although Ho is probably not a good thing. Maybe Brickolicious? Or, BootyBrick or BrickBooty? Help me out here.

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