It’s what I long for.
I need this pain in the way a junkie needs his next hit. The way a nymphomaniac needs her next ….tryst.
I yearn for this pain.
Am I a masochist?
noun 1. Psychiatry. a person who has masochism, the condition in which sexual or other gratification depends on one's suffering physical pain or humiliation. 2. a person who is gratified by pain, degradation, etc., that is self-imposed or imposed by others. 3. a person who finds pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.
I’m not really feeling the humiliation or degradation bits. Can’t say as I am yearning for either of those. So, no, I’m not a masochist.
And yet here I am, working hard at achieving the burn. At bringing the pain. And then revelling in the ache.
I do this willingly. Lovingly.
No, this isn’t about spanking, flogging, clamping or anything else boudoir-related, mes amis.
I’m talking about that delicious pain of muscle soreness.
It even sounds like the bi-product of some fetish behaviour. Not so.
Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness (DOMS) is the kind of pain that tells you how hard you worked your body. The kind that proves how far you pushed yourself.
I feel that pain today. I feel it so strong that it makes me wince each time I move.
And I should dislike this pain. I should dislike it very much. Yet, against all reason, I embrace it.
I smile each time I inhale, and feel that hot knife slicing up my back.
Oh I am back! Disease and strife knocked me around the past couple of weeks, but now I am back, baby!
And I hurt in a way that is wholly unholy. Even for a glutton-for-punishment like me, this pain is exquisitely excessive.
If I had been doing my bench presses like this, then my pain might make more sense.
But as horrifyingly entertaining as this is, I can assure you I did not adopt his form. So I’m really quite puzzled as to why pain is radiating through my obliques, my lower back, my lats. I’m one big ball of pain.
Yes, I decided to lift heavier, with fewer reps, the past few days. And it would seem this is the reason my entire body is one throbbing sore muscle.
I blame Sam at Midsummer 365 Project for this. She had the gall to suggest that perhaps BodyPump (featuring many reps at lower weights) was something she [and therefore, by extension, I] had out grown. That it may be time [for both of us] to move to the big leagues and focus on lifting heavy. *Note: the inclusion of me in her plans was solely a figment of my own imagination.
Oh Sam. You feed my habit like a dealer feeds a crack-head. Bless your heart, you wicked, wicked woman.
And now, my friends, I leave you with the delightful John (will always be Cougar to me) Mellencamp. C’mon baby make it hurt so good!