A little over a year ago I lost my job due to a corporate restructuring. The news came as a total blindside, since I had always been a top performer during my 10-year tenure (say that 5 times, fast!) and had no indication that I would be leaving a company that had done so much to groom me for further growth. To say my ego took a blow would be a vast understatement.
After cocooning for some time (okay, weeks…), I emerged ready to embrace the gift that had been bestowed on me. I decided to look at the situation for what it was: Sure, someone else made the decision to end my career there, but, in return I got a hell of a parting gift in the form of a very generous exit package. This gave me the gift of time. And only now, over a year later, do I fully appreciate how wonderful a gift that was.
I made the decision to spend as much time as I could in my home in Las Vegas, and embraced the many gifts that nature offered me there: wonderful mountains for hiking, and the great dry, warm weather (for the most part!) as a respite from the cold, grey Toronto days of winter.
I also embraced the burgeoning arts scene there and became very active as both a collector, as well as in a mentoring capacity to several emerging artists. It felt good to be able to leverage my business savvy in the area of sales and marketing to help them better promote themselves and their art.
I was becoming far more well-rounded, focusing on family, friends, health and new experiences. I really liked the new me that was emerging. Less hard-ass, more zen. Less agenda-focused, more fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants. Less achievement-oriented, more happy to be on the journey.
And I cut my hair.
I know, sounds so vain to consider a haircut transformative. But it kind of was a big deal. I initially took it to a short bob about a year ago, keeping it at that chin-length for about 12 months. Then last month, just before Christmas, I went to see my stylist and told her I wanted a big change.
And she cut my hair off.
As in, she used a razor. The sides and back are the shortest they’ve been since I was 17 and decided to go for a crazy, shaved asymetrical do (it was 1984 folks, don’t judge me…).
When she was done, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought…oh my… that was a big change, wasn’t it?? Everyone I else told me it looked great, but I was feeling very insecure without having hair falling onto my neck and around my face. Can I pull off this “do”, or is it a “don’t”?? Am I too old/too chubby/too suburban to rock something so edgy?
Change is good…but it’s hard!
It took me a few more days to look in the mirror and realize that my face looks much thinner than it did a couple short months ago. My cheek bones are more pronounced. I have less “carb face” going on. And that is a very good thing!
I’ve been working hard at working my body every day since Jan 1st, and have also been trying to make smarter food choices each day. It’s paying off!
Yesterday I saw my stylist again. I desperately needed a trim and my roots touched up. My roots grow in grey, not dark. So when I say I need my roots done, it’s not to avoid the blonde ends/dark roots scenario (also not a great look), rather it’s too avoid being mistaken as someone’s grandmother! Yes, it’s that grey.
My hair guru and I decided it made sense to go lighter. Much lighter. From a maintenance standpoint it really would be smarter; my grey/white regrowth will be much less noticeable with much blonder hair. Still… looking into the mirror and seeing not only a shorn head, but also a newly platinum blonde self in the mirror, was quite the shocker.
I had dinner with two girlfriends last night, and they raved about how great I looked, assuring me they love my new do. And you know what… so do I.
I’m 46. I’m 30 days into my resolution: 30 workouts in 30 days on a path to 365 days of workouts this year. I’m becoming healthy. I’m becoming an athlete. I’m embracing my inner warrior, and I’m beginning to look the part.
I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror at my crazy bed-head, and asked myself the question again, “Can I rock this do?”
And I surprised myself by answering, “Why can’t I? Of Course I can. And I am!”. Now that’s a change to be excited about.